The Evils of Tipping (and why you should do it anyway)

I have been remiss in posting but I am prepared to resume with something resembling frequency. I like schedule and regularity of things (every Thursday this, every second Saturday that), but part of aging is the acceptance that there is only so much we can actually control, and the best we can do is to keep our word when it is given, and give it only when it can be kept. How very grown up.

In sorting through some of my saved articles from my various feeds (I use feedly since Google Reader expired), I found this from 6 months ago. I know I kept it for a reason, and clearly, it is this.The original article, which can be found in the Andrew Sullivan snippet, goes into more depth about why white men were hired to be flight attendants rather than black men, who were the logical extension given their position working on trains and ships, but we are interested in the focus of the article - why we don't tip flight attendants.

Tipping, a practice which is basic good manners in America now and has been for quite a long time, makes certain assumptions regarding both the customer and the employee. The article explains that we don't tip flight attendants, since they were traditionally white men and to tip them would be to belittle them - to put them on the same level as the black porters of trains and ships, effectively.

I actually don't find tipping to be a very favorable practice, as it indicates that the employers are not paying their employees enough, and that the employee therefore must rely on your largess. It also has the class indications mentioned in the article. In general, I find it a ghastly custom.

That said, it is custom. Those employees who are in businesses where a tip is customary, especially in the restaurant business, are often underpaid precisely because they are expected to receive tips. Some restaurants don't allow them, with Sushi Yasuda in NYC leaving the following note on their receipts where tipping normally would be:

“Following the custom in Japan, Sushi Yasuda’s service staff are fully compensated by their salary. Therefore gratuities are not accepted. Thank you.”

It would be nice, wouldn't it, if we could be assured that all companies were ensuring the well-being of their employees rather than expecting it from the customer? In the meantime, tipping remains the norm for the United States, so do it well. 18-20% of bill may seem a lot, but it is usually the bread and butter of a waiter's salary, not to mention the busboys and unseen staff that are also partially compensated by tips. If service is poor, do not just leave nothing. They have no way to know if you were dissatisfied or just rude. If there's a problem, address it immediately with the waiter and/or management so it can be fixed and you can enjoy your meal. One of my dearest friends was a waiter for over 15 years and he insists that every manager would prefer a customer who draws attention to problems and gives the restaurant a chance to correct themselves rather than leave unhappy, tell your friends, and never return.

Summation: Wouldn't it be nice if tipping weren't necessary? As long as it is, be generous and kind, even if that means drawing (discrete) attention to a problem at hand.

Update: While continuing to sift through saved articles, I found this examination of the procedure from the New York Times. Take a look, it's an excellent dissection.