Elegance in the Rain

I love the rain. I love it for a lot of reasons - it makes things grow, it's cleansing, and my hair is awesome in humidity. But part of why I love the rain is that I have a wardrobe built around dressing for inclement weather, the result of living in the unpredictable North East for 6 years. As a result, I've learned a few things about dressing for going out when the weather demands you stay inside.

Have a good umbrella. I like one with a hook on the end rather than a stick because I can put it over my arm when not in use. Mine is black with a wood handle because it goes with everything and is classic. I also see the argument for brightly colored ones, especially in the city where rainy days are dreary. Pixar did a short about brightly colored umbrellas that made me want a red one and my eyes are open for one.

Different coats for different weathers. I have a nice classic trench coat that I wear when it's raining but not freezing (fall and spring in a lot of the country, most of winter in the South West). It goes with everything, though I'd like to replace it for one with a zip-in liner for chillier weather. I also have a camel wool coat with a removable fur collar for proper winter weather and a red peacoat for casual-but-cold outings. Finally, a black leather blazer covers me for most everything else. Many of these coats can do double duty while you're finding the perfect items. Wool naturally repels water, so it's a really good investment if you live somewhere cold. As a pure luxury, I have a black satin formal coat. It has been a lifesaver for formal events in the chillier seasons, but is far from a necessity.

Never underestimate a good shoe. For bad weather, this often means a good boot. I admit to having an extensive collection of boots, which I squarely credit with having lived somewhere were most other shoes are impractical a significant portion of the year. Your boot collection will vary depending on your lifestyle and location, but most women would be well served by a pair of brown and/or black riding boots (low heel, sole with grip). I, a devoted wearer of heels, also have high heeled boots in all lengths (ankle to thigh), materials, and colors. Remember that suede is only good for cold and dry weather, as no amount of protective coating really can protect suede from actual weather. I own one pair of suede boots (taupe, mid-calf) which work well in fall and spring for dry days. A good pair of rainboots is also essential if you get frequent weather, especially if you are a dog owner who has to walk your dog. Mine are lined with flannel so they're not useless in the snow with thick socks. For men, a couple pairs of leather, short boots will do you for most bad weathers and are more durable than your dress shoes, which won't put up most resistance against a puddle.

Layers, layers, layers. Thick sweaters and corduroy pants are great for being outside, but if you have to go in and out of buildings (like work) you need to be able to shed some layers when your boss kicks up the heat. More light layers will serve you better both practically and aesthetically. I advocate natural fibers whenever possible anyway because they are designed to manage moisture and also let you breathe. Gentlemen, this is where three-piece suits serve you well, in addition to the ever-classic cardigan or light sweater over a button-down and tie. I personally like a silk shell with a cardigan of cotton, wool, or cashmere, either as a standalone or in a blend as it let's your regulate body temperature better. You can put a coat over it and be set for all but the worst weather (for which you need to add accessories like scarves, hats, and gloves).

So what are you lessons for staying well put together in inclement weather? Is there a brand or go-to that you particularly like? What struggles have you had in finding the perfect pieces for you?

Cleaning China Cups

Tea is important to me. I like the ritual of making it, I like the taste, and I like the trappings that come with it. I'm a sucker for an accessory and tea is full of them.

The most basic accessory is, of course, the teacup and saucer. While they come in a variety of colors, traditionally the teacup is white on the inside so that the color of the tea is best showcased. A white interior mixed with a dark tea means, eventually, you're going to get stains. And while a tea-stained cup might be alright for day-to-day, it doesn't do when you are serving tea to guests.

I dislike bleach for cleaning items that contain food unless absolutely necessary, so I decided to try my favorite cleaning method - baking soda and distilled white vinegar. I got the cup wet, then dusted the inside with the baking soda. I put the cup in the sink and poured in some vinegar, enough to make the baking soda fizz and turn it into a paste. Using a clean cloth (I don't use paper towels, but they would also work), I rubbed the paste all around the inside of the cup and the stains came right off. I finished by washing it the normal way and letting it dry.

So far this has worked for both porcelain and bone china and hasn't had any effect on the hand-painted or gold leaf exteriors.

A Guide to Elegance: A - Adaptability

This week's entry is Adaptability. It's a short piece, only a page really, but an important lesson. In it, Dariaux discusses how one goes from morning to evening, a difficult challenge today for women.  Men don't seem to have this problem since a suit is always acceptable.

For women, she suggests something very similar to what most magazines would suggest - a low cut dress with a jacket over it in a dark color (she specifies wool) and accessories in your daytime handbag that can convert the outfit to evening, including an evening bag and jewelry. I've always wondered where one stashes the large bag when they go out for the evening...do you leave it at the office? I suppose if you're taking your car you can leave it in there, though this doesn't work in, say, New York City where people are more likely to take a cab or subway to their evening destination.

My favorite part, no surprise, is the shoes. She advises that "patent leather and fine calfskin pumps are chic all around the clock", advice that holds true now. She warns against suede shoes, which are strictly daytime, and strappy sandals, which are for evening. The first time I read that, I scoffed a little at the idea, but more and more I think she's right. I have a pair of wonderful suede open-toed black heels that I really like, but if I'm getting dressed up for an evening, they feel drab.

Overall, her advice is that adaptability requires planning and forethought, which is still quite true and applies to far more situations that just what you're wearing. It is far easier to take things as they come if you know you're ready, no matter the outcome. It is because of this that I started keeping an umbrella in my car, in case of rain (important on the coasts or in the desert during Monsoon Season), as well as a pair of flats in my glove compartment. If I have to change a flat tire in the rain, I don't want to be worried about my shoes!

All of this ties back into her overall theme, that elegance is as much an attitude as anything else. If you are confident in your ability to handle what comes at you with a smile and a laugh, then you are truly adaptable.

Cleanliness is Next to Elegance

As we previously discussed, elegance is unique for each person - how they define it, what is involved in acquiring it. In most definitions, a level of order in life is required, as frantic people are rarely elegant. For me, order and cleanliness are the cornerstone of an elegant life. Everything else in life is easier, flows better, when things are clean.

That starts with my home. An orderly, clean home is vital. It means that, when people drop in, I don't stress about how the house looks, because I know that it's mostly clean at the very least, and there's nothing I can't correct with the closing of a laptop and tidying of the desk. It means that, when I wake up in the morning, I can walk bleary-eyed through my bedroom, because there's nothing to trip on, and I'm greeted with a clean kitchen in which to drink my morning tea.

I have tried many systems over the years to manage this, with varying levels of effectiveness. There are a lot of factors - how many people live in your house, how messy those people are, how much time you spend out of the house each day - but I have finally stumbled on a system that I am a fan of, with a few minor modifications. Becky, over at Clean Mama, has a lot of ways to clean pretty much everything, and I'm starting to feel like a trip to her house might be a pilgrimage worth taking, just to see it in it's organized glory. She was kind enough to give me permission to talk all about her.

One of the key features to her blog and site is her phenomenal printables. She has packs of them available on her Etsy store, but every month she shares a free printable for keeping your house clean on a daily basis. The daily work takes very little time, though I've made a few adjustments to incorporate it into my own life better. Here are my tips for using the Free Monthly Printable from Clean Mama:

1. Print it out. I despise paper in my house and have been working towards eliminating it (starting by using some of Becky's tips in her How to Stop the Paper Trail article), but this I print out in full color every month. It hangs on my fridge where I can't miss it. This way, I can cross things off, mark weeks when I'm out of town as a sort of visual reminder, and attach sticker timers for medications for me and my dog.

2. Feel free to make adjustments. I don't do laundry every day, because I make very little laundry by myself, and I wash my towels on Monday when I clean my bathroom (per the schedule). That said, I do follow most of the rest of the schedule and I can see how this will adapt well once there is more than me to think about.

3. Know that it takes some time to adjust to cleaning a little everyday. If you're normally a marathon cleaner, but don't like the process, this is a great change from that, but it does require some changes in your time. I do my cleaning in the morning after my news-and-tea, but it works just as well to spread it out or do in the evening.

Some people thrive in a little clutter and there is an elegance to a space overflowing with signs that you love something, like a study overflowing with books or an artist's studio splattered in paint. But for a lot of people, those are private and personal places. For everything else, the places where others go, elegance generally demands some sense of order. For some of us, it is imperative that our spaces be clean, and be available for guests in a moment's notice.

So, do you demand cleanliness from your space, or does a little clutter do your soul good? Do different spaces have different rules? And if you are a cleaner, what system do you use?

A Guide to Elegance: A - Accesories

Before we begin, it should be noted that the opening Forward, written by the author, is worth reading. It establishes her ideals, as well as gives her background. If you have not read that, please take a moment to do so.

The book is broken down as an encyclopedia and many of the letters have several items under them. We will discuss them one at a time, so each letter may take awhile, depending on the chapter itself. For male readers, it is also important to remember that this book is directed at women, so while there is advice here for you, it requires a bit more work to unearth.

A red Hermes Kelly Bag

We begin with Accessories. In brief summation, she discusses the accessories one absolutely must have, and
then goes on to lay out some basic rules regarding what is appropriate depending on the setting, and how one can expand on the basics. This is the layout for most of the book and one I find rather helpful. She also dictates which accessories she is discussing - "gloves, hat, shoes, and handbag" - which highlights the era. I think most people would consider Jewelry as a necessary accessory, but she includes that in it's own section.

We also notice some immediate divides that we will continue to see: city vs. country, dressy vs. sport, daytime vs. evening. These are distinctions that were once very clear and have faded some over the years since the book was written. While some of her guidelines are austere, many of them make sense. White shoes in the city (and when we say city, I think of cities like New York) seem painful, just asking to get destroyed.

She also mentions Dior's shocking use of brown and black together as now being classic, which makes me giggle since many people are still very resistant to that combination. Even I have to fight the natural urge to create a barrier between the colors, since I was raised to never combine them. The trick with these colors, as with navy and black, is to ensure that the look is intentional, rather than looking like you accidentally grabbed brown shoes instead of black. The way to do that is the carefully coordination of your accessories in this area - a black sheath dress with a brown belt, shoes, and bag is very intentional.

Her basic advice in this chapter is an incredible guide - think ahead, buy well - and has influenced my spending in this area more than anything else. It is better, she says, to buy fewer, better items than to own too many. This is advice we will hear again in the Quality and Quantity sections. The idea of the economics of shopping (divide the cost by how many times you will use it to get the cost-per-wear) plays into this - a $2000 bag is a lot to spend, but if you use it everyday for years, and are able to have the high-quality leather repaired rather than replaced, your cost-per-wear drops considerably. And many of the really high-quality leather makers (Hermes jumps to mind) will repair the bag for the life of it, extending the truly classic pieces.

It is an approach that requires financial discipline, which is a hard area for many people. But the payoff, to always have the accessories you need in the colors you need, is worth the discipline to  me.

For men, I think the lesson is the same. High-quality leather shoes, belts, wallets, and bags will last you longer and serve you better. It might be a bit annoying to have to switch wallets because you are wearing black instead of brown, but there are advantages. Your wallet will certainly avoid gathering unnecessary bits (receipts, movie stubs) and rotating between two wallets will make them both last longer. You have the added advantage of needing two sets at the most, while women need a bare minimum of three (brown, black, summer) to get through.

I'd love to hear your feedback on this, especially as it relates to your wardrobe. Do you find her advice helpful? Too austere? If you already incorporate this concept into your wardrobe, what are the points you find most difficult to manage?

Regularly Scheduled Programming

I'm hoping to have two regular features on this blog. It helps keep me focused and productive.

The first is a review of Genevieve Antoine Dariaux's A Guide to Elegance. I intend to choose an entry each week (some weeks will have more than one as some of them are very short). I'd like to examine them in the context of modern understanding, since the book was written in 1964, and while some updates were made, such as addressing cell phones, it was not a full update. For those who would like to follow along and don't have the book, it can be found on Amazon by going here.

The second regular feature is a comparison of the original edition of Etiquette (1922) and the 18th edition (2011). The first edition is available through Project Gutenberg and the 18th on Amazon. It won't be a direct comparison, given that there are entire sections of each book that aren't in the others, but I'm interested in looking at the items that are in both and what has changed. Many of the changes happen gradually over the course of the 89 years between them, but still, it marks time rather uniquely.

These will begin in the next few weeks. I'm excited, since it gives me a chance to delve into three books that I rather enjoy. I hope you'll join me!

Defining Elegance

Now that I'm back from traveling, I can begin this in earnest.

Like any pursuit, I find it is best to understand exactly what is being sought. If we begin with the dictionary, we will find the following definition:

el·e·gant

  [el-i-guhnt] 

adjective

1.

tastefully fine or luxurious in dress, style, design, etc.: elegant furnishings.

2.

gracefully refined and dignified, as in tastes, habits, or literary style: an elegant young gentleman; anelegant prosodist.

3.

graceful in form or movement: an elegant wave of the hand.

4.

appropriate to refined taste: a man devoted to elegant pursuits.

5.

excellent; fine; superior: an absolutely elegant wine.

The first thing we notice is that elegance is incredibly subjective. Everything the definition encompasses - grace, style, design, habits, form - all of this is in the eye of the beholder. This can present a challenge, and certainly has for me.

Genevieve Antoine Dariaux, a favorite of mine, begins her book answering the same question. It takes her several pages, but she opens with this:

It is a sort of harmony that rather resembles beauty, with the difference that the latter is more often a gift of nature and the former the result of art.

The origin of elegance is easily traced. It springs and develops from the habits of a civilized culture. The word comes from the Latin eligere, which means 'to select'.

I like Madam Dariaux's take on the topic. 'To Select'...in the end, elegance is about selection, about choosing what you will and will not have in your life, about how you will present yourself and what you allow to influence you. This is why elegance is something that cannot be bought, and while it is easier to understand elegance if you have been raised with it, it's out of no one's reach.

An Elegant Evening at Home

Tonight, I got home and felt like a quiet night. I put on my black satin robe and made a pot of tea. I sorted through some paperwork and wrote a birthday note to a friend. I knit and watched a movie. It was quiet and relaxing.

It drove home the small aspects of an elegant personal life that you must have to develop an elegant life on a larger scale. The robe was a wonderful, luxurious alternative to my street clothes. The teapot and matching up created a sense of aesthetic harmony. My pearls, which I don't usually take off until I shower, peak out from beneath the robe, a small reminder of the beauty of the day. Little breaks to knit kept anything from being rushed or pressured.


These made the mundane tasks of scanning papers seem more pleasant, far less drab than they are. Taking the time for yourself is important, but the ways and means that you do it in are crucial. That's one of the cornerstones of an elegant life - that each item in it is carefully selected to reside in harmony with everything else. Nothing has to be designer or expensive. They simply have to work together towards your personal goals. So when you pour your tea, you get a little sense of enjoyment just by looking at the cup.


Elegance is in the details. And, as Kathleen Tessaro states so clearly in her novel, Elegance, "everything you own should do its job with some semblance of grace and dignity."

A Beginning

I've been considering the idea of this particular blog for awhile now. Earlier manifestations were attempted, always using a group format. I never trusted that I could create enough content to justify taking up webspace.

I have finally accepted, however, that my standards are unique to me, as they are to each person who has taken the time to become an individual, and I find it incredibly difficult to collaborate in areas which I hold a strong opinion on. While not my favorite trait, it is the case. And so I am venturing forth into a new project, in which I hope the experience I gained from previous efforts as well as a better understanding of what I am pursuing will guide me along the journey. I do not know all the answers, and the only person for whom I can dictate elegance is me. But I can pass along what I know, while learning from other perspectives, to continue to fine tune the life I live into an elegant one.

I hope you'll join me in my pursuit of an elegant life.